I’m going to tell you a story of a woman who kept banging her head against the wall and learned how to attract men. She felt like a failure in her relationships because they never seem to turn out the way she’d hoped. From all appearances she should be married and settled into having a family but her luck with men just kept her from her dream.
She would normally talk negatively about her relationships and caused her negative feelings which resulted in further supports for her thinking negative thoughts which spilled over into her relationships.
She felt resentment towards guys because they would say one thing and not do the other or would lie about something she told them. She felt so inadequate in the relationship and had so many thoughts going through her mind that thoughts of what might have been or would never happen shut her mind off and stop her negative feelings from spilling over into the relationship.
She couldn’t move on and get out of the relationship because her thoughts would always lead back to the negative and then the negative thoughts would raise their head again. Their connection forced them to dwell in the past and fly off into fantasy where they would not have to face the reality of the present situation.
She would have liked a man who had a positive attitude and believed in her. It was all these men that she kept banging her head against the wall. When she was lonely and dissed by a guy who had the audacity to tell her that she was fat or that he didn’t find her attractive, she was sovetailingobsessive and hurt by it.
She felt she was getting exactly what she wanted, which was, a negative man. She never met a man who accepted her for who she was, lovingly, and then gave her the support that she needed that caused her to still feel inadequate.With each relationship she had fake enthusiasm
She would stay with men who didn’t really care about her, met someone who said he cared, but wasn’t giving her what she needed and began to manipulate and control the relationship because he paid her a little more attention, or he gave her what she wanted at a time when she thought she wasn’t getting anything.
She would stay with him because he paid her attention to, excused or overlooked her negative thoughts and gave her what she wanted because she thought he cared.
She would stay with him because he gave her a little something extra, or he bought into her lies because he was wooing her with what she was saying in order to get ahead in the relationship.
She would stay with him because he bought into her lies because he was so charming, or the dinner he prepared looked so wonderful, or because he came early and was eager to please her with what he had to offer.
She would stay with him because he did what she wantedbecause he paid her an Allowance.
She was afraid to stay with him because he paid her attention. To her, it was the gold digger. To him, she was just another wussy.
So people always told her about men and money, and periodically she would gossip about some patrician guy who came late, or on the rare occasions that he spent extra money, she could never believe it.
“Oh, he buys my shaken love into believing he can buy me into a decent relationship.”
“Oh, shower him with gifts until I finally have enough and leave him for good after we have sex twice and he always turns around and calls me a pain in the neck, even though the last time I kicked him inside he was about hit by a truck.”
“I know just how those guys think. He’s so full of himself and only into meeting women for sex and entertainments-I should totally… get… rich..”
Because obviously he’s into it and she was just watching, she was shocked and stunned when this rich, young man who obviously had the money, got with her, too.
“Jeez, this guy is so full of himself! He was bringing me flowers, and driving me around, telling me how great I looked in my diamond earrings, I was having so much fun with him, and yet I was bored out of my mind! Sure, I went out of my mind but when it came time to put my stamp of approval on this man’s personality, he pulled a disappearing act. He was classy enough to know not to expect any of this material, and yet he had the chutzpah to strut around me and essentially bait me into his bedroom.” She laughed out loud.
“This is so embarrassing! I mean, he’s rich, young, healthy, has all the makings of an offspring, and yet he thinks he’s so much better than me, and yet he doesn’t give me a dime?